Fear talk

Never let your fear become your reality and your reality your fear.

I know right? At least I think I know that…sure it’s easy to read it and repeat it, but to actually repeat it in my life can seem daunting. What about you? Do you struggle with fear reader? Do you have trouble with really applying the quote above? Ok…check this, I’m gonna explain a brief story to you and you tell me if it can work for you.

Life has been tough these past two years, and there are times where the fear of unemployment, starving and not having anything to eat, losing my home and my health are all very real possibilities for me. I’ve had to struggle through some of those and I’m very privileged and blessed to be able to write this blog and know that you’re reading it. So before I continue…Thank you 😉

Let me continue…Whenever I think about making a post on the blog, when I submit my pay sheet, when I pick up the phone or go to check emails, if I pray, if I write and try to express myself or when I have conversations with certain people, there’s this lingering fear in the back of my mind that tugs on my collar and tells me to be careful, to be ready for the worst. I’ve written before about fear, fear is very real and we have to learn to work with it, or it’ll work on us instead of through us. However, the fear I’m referring to this time is the kind of fear that grips you by the collar and leaves this feeling in your chest, this tightness, this discomfort that makes you feel like you’ve held your breath, waiting for something to hit. Many times, I’ve realized that the feeling goes away after I’ve uncovered it. So how do I deal with it when it comes on?

I can’t tell you a 1 or 10 step process to overcoming this kind of fear, this is something you have to get good at doing. I won’t lie to you, nor am I trying to sell you something or take anything from you. I’ll say this instead: Fear is very real, it’s apart of us and it won’t fully go away. How you react to fear, how much of it you allow to control and impact your life, and what you do while feeling fearful are what matter the most. Many times I’ve walked forward while feeling fearful and realized there’s nothing there. There’s no boogeyman under the bed, there’s no guy hiding in my closet (Thank God!). What’s there is a lingering feeling, like a stench that just never dissipated, but it still fills your nostrils and your mind with old memories. Wherever you picked up that scent of fear, it comes around you when you’re near to whatever triggered it in the first place, and I remind myself that what happened “then” doesn’t have to happen now. This is a new day, things are different now, I’m so much more and so much more different than I was yesterday, 2 months ago, 2 years ago.

So reader, my message to you is to walk through your fear, uncover your dark places and let that scent of fear drift away for the time being. I can’t tell you you’ll never feel fear that would be unfair to you, but I will say that you have the ability every single time that fear grips you and leaves  you feeling tight to loosen that grip, to breathe and make a decision on how to behave. Sometimes, you’re afraid and what you’re afraid of will happen, but 99% of the time, many of the moments I’ve been afraid of haven’t happened. Be wise, but avoid allowing fear to contort your mind and behavior.

Thanks for reading 🙂


Lessons I learned in 2013

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These are but a few of the life lessons I learned this year. I’m reflecting every day of my failures, triumphs and anything in between over this past year as I look forward to a new, prosperous year in 2014.

Join me on my journey !