Whenever I get into any sort of slump, I immediately try to work my way out of it. I create an awareness by doing some deep reflection; I write out, speak about, and search for, the right questions to ask and then work toward formulating solutions to answer those questions. Last night my quest led me to a few Youtube videos (so if you’ve subscribed to me on Twitter @NickATitley, you probably noticed I’ve been “liking” a bunch of videos), and I love watching inspirational workout videos, inspiration videos with characters that represent something special for me. I always enjoy watching the uplifting videos because it helps me “lift” my mood.
I watched a few other videos but what stuck out to me last night were the concepts of: Character building and Discipline. I always value discipline and I’ve sworn by it for my martial arts and fitness training. It’s something that allows me to achieve results, remain poised and adhere to respect for others. Sometimes, it’s extremely hard to decipher when we have to respect others and when we’re being disrespected. A mentor of mine once told me, “Never Disrespect yourself, to respect others” and I’ve followed that for quite some time, but I’ve also learned that there are times when we most certainly need to bite our tongue, swallow your pride and let things pass. Character, is built during these times.
I once felt I needed to speak up and to speak out when people come at me negatively, and I thought long and hard, I bit back my anger to make room for clarity and realized that people really do control you if you respond with anger. Imagine, every time you said something you got a rouse out of someone, granted I was not this bad, but I noticed my energy level after. Anger and frustration leaves knots in our minds and bodies and it really does take a toll on you in the short and long run.
So here’s the beginning of the end, the set up for the knock out: Discipline builds character; when you let go appeasing yourself for the moment, you build character and this in turn makes room for you to grow more in your life. Discipline in your fitness, your workplace, your relationships, and especially in your disagreements. Be disciplined in your failures; when you fall, when you fail, when you begin to lose hope and faith, that’s when you have to be disciplined.
It’s easy to say you have discipline, it’s easy to have discipline when nothing is happening or when everything is going well, but it’s in your moments of trial that it needs to work the most. That’s when you build character, light your candles for the dark not for the light. Next time you go through a tussle, make sure your candle of discipline burns bright. Let it go, let what the person said remain where it is, it really doesn’t have any effect on your body or your mind unless you begin to ponder it. Yes, it doesn’t affect you unless you allow it to get on your nerves. The next time a thought like this arises, let it go…breathe it out, see through it, listen to a different voice instead, and allow it to just slip by. If you occupy your mind with it, then it begins to take root and plant negative seeds on your emotions.
Believe and know that what you have to offer is unshakable, it’s original, it’s untouchable and no one besides you, can really take it away. So that means, when someone says something nasty about you, it’s a reflection of them and not you, it’s really about them and their mood at the time. That person could come back to you in 5 minutes and say something nice to you. For some, there is a tendency to wonder “Am I really doing something wrong ?” and I feel it’s necessary to reflect and improve ourselves, but I also encourage you to develop an awareness of the distinction between helpful and harmful chatter.
When you put discipline into effect and allow water to flow under the bridge instead of all over your mind, things will slide by you and you’ll realize you don’t need to respond with the same energy being thrown at you. I would be lying if I told you it was easy, but discipline is the beginning of character building.
All the best on your journey of discipline. I’m working at it more and more now that I’ve increased my awareness and I wish you the very best successes on your journey.
Nick A. Titley