Fear talk

Never let your fear become your reality and your reality your fear.

I know right? At least I think I know that…sure it’s easy to read it and repeat it, but to actually repeat it in my life can seem daunting. What about you? Do you struggle with fear reader? Do you have trouble with really applying the quote above? Ok…check this, I’m gonna explain a brief story to you and you tell me if it can work for you.

Life has been tough these past two years, and there are times where the fear of unemployment, starving and not having anything to eat, losing my home and my health are all very real possibilities for me. I’ve had to struggle through some of those and I’m very privileged and blessed to be able to write this blog and know that you’re reading it. So before I continue…Thank you ūüėČ

Let me continue…Whenever I think about making a post on the blog, when I submit my pay sheet, when I pick up the phone or go to check emails, if I pray, if I write and try to express myself or when I have conversations with certain people, there’s this lingering fear in the back of my mind that tugs on my collar and tells me to be careful, to be ready for the worst. I’ve written before about fear, fear is very real and we have to learn to work with it, or it’ll work on us instead of through us. However, the fear I’m referring to this time is the kind of fear that grips you by the collar and leaves this feeling in your chest, this tightness, this discomfort that makes you feel like you’ve held your breath, waiting for something to hit. Many times, I’ve realized that the feeling goes away after I’ve uncovered it. So how do I deal with it when it comes on?

I can’t tell you a 1 or 10 step process to overcoming this kind of fear, this is something you have to get good at doing. I won’t lie to you, nor am I trying to sell you something or take anything from you. I’ll say this instead: Fear is very real, it’s apart of us and it won’t fully go away. How you react to fear, how much of it you allow to control and impact your life, and what you do while feeling fearful are what matter the most. Many times I’ve walked forward while feeling fearful and realized there’s nothing there. There’s no boogeyman under the bed, there’s no guy hiding in my closet (Thank God!). What’s there is a lingering feeling, like a stench that just never¬†dissipated, but it still fills your nostrils and your mind with old memories. Wherever you picked up that scent of fear, it comes around you when you’re near to whatever triggered it in the first place, and I remind myself that what happened “then” doesn’t have to happen now. This is a new day, things are different now, I’m so much more and so much more different¬†than I was yesterday, 2 months ago, 2 years ago.

So reader, my message to you is to walk through your fear, uncover your dark places and let that scent of fear drift away for the time being. I can’t tell you you’ll never feel fear that would be unfair to you, but I will say that you have the ability every single time that fear grips you and leaves ¬†you feeling tight to loosen that grip, to breathe and make a decision on how to behave. Sometimes, you’re afraid and what you’re afraid of will happen, but 99% of the time, many of the moments I’ve been afraid of haven’t happened. Be wise, but avoid allowing fear to contort your mind and behavior.

Thanks for reading ūüôā

Nick

FEAR

Yo !

I hope you’re doing as well as I am after a long week. I can’t begin to speak about the challenges of the past 2 weeks, but what I can say is that I’ve learned that when trouble hits, you can’t allow the storm on the outside to get on the inside and disturb your inner peace. Peace is powerful man, if you don’t have any, seek and you’ll find it with time. Otherwise, here’s a really neat video that will get you through this week:

FEAR

Enjoy, share and like the video, it’s fantastic and I hope it pushes you forward.

It hit home, a humbling experience

Hey folks,

I just finished reading these 2 articles,¬†13 Things Mentally Strong People Don‚Äôt Do and¬†Top 10 Fears That Hold Us Back In Life¬†and I just really needed to share them because I can’t say I feel the same way after. I feel very humbled, maybe even less in some cases and so much more aware of my shortcomings and things that I struggle with, its been quite a week and change for me. There’s been some things on my mind and I’m working through them, but seeing these posts did something for me, because they really puts things into perspective. Have you ever read something and it seemed to just correlate exactly to where you are, and what you’re facing in life ? Take a look at the articles for yourself, but I can say they did something for me, especially the one about fear.

Fear is a crazy feeling and I know anyone reading this message has felt many of the 10 fears the author has listed. I’ve always heard how we control fear and how it’s a choice, but I can¬†openly say it’s still very difficult when you’re so accustomed to being gripped by it. How many of you reading this have felt fear to the point where you couldn’t move or make a decision? It’s as if your ability to act¬†is being stifled by some unknown force, like a hand gripping your body that just won’t let go in that moment. There’s this stubborn feeling, this inch that you cannot surpass, words that you just cannot speak. Deep in your mind, you’re kicking yourself for not making the move, but something in you is stopping you, and you know exactly what it is…

How do I deal with it ? I take a deep breath, breathing seems to halt my behavior. It refocuses me, it’s like stopping the clock for a moment and taking a step back from the edge. Then I work things through and decide if it’s fear or if it’s my body trying to protect me (a different kind of fear). Not all fear is problematic, your fight or flight response is very real and will save your life. However, it’s many of the fears that the author, Amy Morin, mentions, that are still stewing in my head as I fervently type this message.

In the game of, “how many of those 10 fears do you have” I pretty much got my ass kicked. There’s still so many to work on and the timing of both articles hit home for me. Incorporating the 13 things mentally strong people do is now on my to do list. These 2 articles told me where I am and where I needed to go to continue my personal journey of self-mastery.

I hope these articles hit home for you too reader.¬†It’s important for us to examine ourselves and challenge what we know. We can only get better with practice, patience and ceaseless, overwhelming courage.

Thanks for reading,

Nick A. Titley

 

 

Self revelation

Have you ever woke up and had a voice in your head ? A voice that was clearly you, but a side of you that seemed to know you, and your environment so well that it has gone through¬†painstaking¬†lengths to reach out to you ? It’s revealed itself at a time when you were most vulnerable, it’s revealed itself to you as you transition from a state of unconscious to consciousness and has probably tried multiple times to speak to you in your waking life but just can’t seem to reach you…Mine reached me today

As I go through my daily routines, often when I stop and think, allow myself to reflect or just relax and listen to my mind, it has a lot to say. At times I don’t understand it, but I’ve trained myself to believe that everything, even the loopy, crazy, weird thoughts that randomly pop into my mind are working for my benefit. Often, we have to find the meaning in the thoughts, find the reason or try to make something of it, and I’ve strove to do this with my mind. I feel like, it’s a muscle you work at, you have to listen and the more you listen is the more it tells you.

I woke up today, did I just ‘wake up’ today ? this revelation hit me after a few days of internal drought, a drought that has left my palate and my thinking dry without reason. Luckily I made it my business to get a little more sleep last night, and I set a few goals for how I wanted this day to turn out. Sleep and the goal creation may have helped put my thinking train back on it’s rails and before I continue I’ll say this:¬†It’s always good to follow through on your goals, you may just wake up ¬†to a new day full of excitement ¬†and opportunity.

What is holding me back ? What has held me back ? My mind didn’t¬†deliberate¬†or hold tongue on what it had to say, as I stared across the room in my usual awake position. Fear always seemed to be the very root of it, but focusing on fear alone isn’t helpful if you don’t understand the tree that grows from it. There are times when fear can save us, and so the tree that springs from the root is actually helpful, but what if fear root sprang weeds ? and those weeds were stifling the growth of other ventures in your life ?

My mind spoke of family, friends, personal liberation, financial liberation, martial arts and the fear of being judged. What if an opportunity came to you today ? would you be able to do as Eric Thomas said in his presentation ? “To be able at any moment to give up what you are, for what you can become”. What if tomorrow everything made sense, there was a call on the phone or an email that had the potential to change your life forever, would you be ready to take it ? Could you even conceive of it ? Could you grasp hold of it if it were right there ? and what would stop you from doing so ?

Fear….Fear, and this particular kind of fear is a weed that must be rooted but is oh so difficult to do actuality. Have you ever felt like this reader ? You are on the brink of a personal breakthrough and there are these feelings of “what if”, I mean you’ve psyched yourself up, you’ve cleared out your mental garden but there is this retainer, a restrainer, a weed, a left over that just will not go away. It demands that it stays planted because there is justification in having it and you know deep down (but you refuse to admit it) that, that root is the cause of, and has been the cause of, many of your struggles.

That’s you going past your comfort zone, that’s swimming in murky water, that’s moving too far too far, that’s not for me yet, that’s my family kicking me out, that’s society and my friends shunning me for what I’m doing and yet that’s my liberation, that’s what I want to do, to be, to show to the world to feel like I mean something more than a 9-5 ¬†desk job. I can do it, if I really trained and worked hard, I could do it…I just can’t do it right now because of…and then the theories, the hypotheses, the fears, the meltdowns, the root smiles back at you and says…”No”

Reader, I can’t tell you to just move past it, I’d be hypocrite, I can’t tell you to just jump over it because it’s not something you can do in a single bound, it has to take work, it has to take practice and ceaseless importunity. There is no one way, so create your way of overcoming, or rooting that fear and moving forward. Some will jump right in and say “I’m going to do it man, screw everything and everyone else that stands in my way” and many of us will look at that person and think they’re crazy but secretly envy them for they made that decision to become the person they are most comfortable being.

Judging never helps, instead look at that person and take what you can learn from them. It’s not easy and it never will be, but I don’t do impossibilities and I implore you to see yourself as a person of possibility, a person of¬†magnificent ability to become whatever you set your mind too, if you work, focus and you’re willing to withstand failure. God knows, you will always fail, even if you walk you’ll trip and stumble, but you recover, you stand up and you get to walking again…why ? because that’s just what you do, so take that naturalness of walking and put it toward your goal, put it toward your mission to be fit, to lose weight, to ¬†pass that exam or text, to become a better person, a better mom or dad, a spouse, a friend, a teacher or whatever it is you’re doing right now…Walk on forward

Reader, before I leave you, know that you must crawl before you can walk, you will walk before you can run and you will run before you can fly. Get your wings ready Reader, when the time comes to fly you’ll no longer be held by fear. Plant good seeds in the garden of your mind, listen and watch it grow and learn from it’s fruit. Share it’s fruit with others and man I guarantee you, you’ll be even closer to a personal breakthrough and it all started from you having a personal revelation and deciding to act upon it instead of letting the thought slip by.

Have a great week, and I hope your next personal revelation propels you past fear and sends you soaring upward.

This is Nick A. Titley and I’m on a mission to keep you Fit