The Enemy within

I’m quite fond of contemplation, especially since it doesn’t take long and it’s always refreshing to think about your situation and how life has treated you. I began getting hard on myself, explaining how I made some mistakes and where I am today is because of my successes and failures. Have you ever sat to think deeply, or just caught yourself thinking deeply and realized that much of your self talk is somewhat negative ? It just seems like you were out to get “you” and your verbal rampage was inclined toward your “self” ?

I often have times like this; granted I have great times and I have the times where I’m harder on myself than most times. Friends have told me I should relax, my ambition has told me to press forward. For those of us who want to press forward, I’ll explain how to charter the course without getting lost in your own self anguish.

If ever, you catch yourself on the highway of doubt, if you feel like you’re swimming without a life vest and the waves are really choppy, understand that you can be your own worst enemy. Your drive to achieve and your ambition have darker sides, sides that demands results regardless of how your life has transpired and they looks past all excuses, even the good ones, as they require a level of commitment that you may, or may not have, been able to produce at one point in time.

You are your worst enemy reader; understand that you have the power to sabotage future successes and incur future failures, but the way you handle both success and failure is extremely important. Our Ego, our internal dialogue, personal expectations and the expectations we have of others can run amok on our conscious mind. Our Ego is so powerful and can be so limiting to our future selves that we fail to realize the effect it  has on our overall thinking and the way we engage opportunities. This is why we become our worst enemies, but one must learn to temper their own steel when contemplating our endeavors, lest we find ourselves cutting deeper into our sense of “self”  than we originally intended.

Contemplation on our endeavors, past and present, is always imperative to our future, but when we steer clear of opportunities because an internal voice tells us to be careful of being hurt, then we know we have a problem. Ego, is that voice that tells us to run away from pain, to avoid failure, to judge someone as we judge ourselves; Ego tells us where we should be based on other people and can bring down the mallet of justice in an unjust way. Ego forgets that we are our own person and cannot be judged like other people. When you avoid a small part of pain in order to hold onto the little confidence and security you have left, you can bet Ego is involved.

I’ve learned that in order to hold more, to learn more, we have to be open to learning. We can’t fill our glasses if it is full, nor can we hold more if our hands are full. Too often we’re taken up with defending our pride and guarding our sense of security that we often miss opportunities. I recall times where if I had just allowed myself to go through a little self pain and embarrassment that I would have grown so much more. It’s hard, it’s so hard when things are difficult for you and you feel you have to hold on and guard things that you feel are most important. The last thing you want is to have your talents be exposed as lacking, so you put up a wall and leave it for only the right people to climb over.

Readers, take time to challenge yourself, push past your ego and allow yourself to grow. As I said, it’s difficult, but if you do it, it pays off. This could relate to those struggling with weight issues or any issue of their own, the breakthrough may come by speaking to someone about the topic, it may come through asking for feedback on a project. You need it more than you realize and without it, you miss a vital opportunity to grow and become the best version of you. Call it criticism, call it feedback, however you deem the response, at some point you need it from yourself and you need it from others, but allowing the enemy within to tell you otherwise can bear problematic results in the long run.

Yes, you are your own worst enemy, but instead of fighting, keep the confidence that you’re an amazing individual who has gone through so much to get to where you are. You are not your failures, you are who you are despite the result; be it success of failure, where you are in a positive or a negative place,  you continue to be who you are, to grow and learn regardless of the result of your goal. Again, you are not your results, but you are the result of your Ego…




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